Etiquette, Elegance, and Femininity III

Welcome back, everyone! I hope you’ve been enjoying this series so far! In this post, I’m going to veer off from outer appearance and touch on the way to speak as a lady with good manners.

First, you must be able to be heard when you speak. So speak up! Do not shout, and use a gentle voice, but be sure your listeners can hear you. Do not have your fingers in front of your mouth when speaking. It makes it harder to tell what you’re saying and it doesn’t look all that pretty. Speak up and speak clearly, and do not forget to make eye contact when speaking and being spoken to!

Second, along with speaking clearly, enunciate your words properly. This may be a hard habit to break; it’s common now to not fully enunciate all of our words. However, this will really polish up your feminine persona. One tip for this would be to clearly enunciate words ending in “ing” and “T.”

Next, use proper grammar. This will show that you’ve been educated and care about the way you’re perceived. Try to avoid using words that aren’t words such as “ain’t;” using “is” instead of “are” when it isn’t appropriate; saying “a” when it should be “an;” and saying “I seen” or “I been” instead of “I saw” and “I’ve been.” These are just a few common grammatical errors that you can start working on today!

Another big thing to avoid as a lady with manners is cursing and swearing. I would even go so far as to say using slang isn’t proper for a lady either. I personally have tried to work on using less slang, as I want to set a higher standard for myself and follow Jesus’ teachings on being careful what we say (Matthew 12:36-37). Both of these kinds of words aren’t nice words, they aren’t nice-sounding words, and they’re rather unnecessary words.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. In doing this, you will be able to avoid miscommunication and misunderstandings. Be honest and clear about what you’re trying to say.

Now I want to move on to topics to avoid bringing up in conversation. Some of them are topics you should only share with your most trusted and closest friends or family members, and some of them are things you should avoid altogether.

Any type of gossip- talking about others’ personal business, repeating stories you aren’t a part of or don’t know all the details about, sharing about how much you don’t like someone, etc.

Your financial situation- there’s no need to hint at the amount of money you have; it could be perceived as boasting if you have much and fishing for help or sympathy if you have little. It’s no one else’s business how much money you have or earn.

Stories or details about your health issues- this is something that comes up naturally in conversation sometimes, but don’t be the person to intentionally bring it up! It’s also no one else’s business and not everyone wants to hear the details about your symptoms or procedures or such. Be mindful of who you’re talking to and who all is around and where you are discussing things at.

Politics. There is a time and place for this subject, and most times and places are not it. There is also a proper, decent way to talk about politics. Shouting and arguing is not appropriate, and neither is interrupting or talking over the person you are speaking with. If you are going to express your opinion, you must respectfully let others express theirs, even if you disagree with their views.

Do not speak negatively. Negativity brings people down, and that is the opposite of what you’re going for. Be optimistic and cheerful! Warm and friendly. Someone people feel comfortable around. Use your words wisely, and to encourage those around you. Be pleasant in your speech, along with the rest of your manners!

Words have power, so be careful what you say and how you say it! Thanks for being here again! I hope to have you back next time! (-: