How to be a Good Friend

So by now if you’ve been reading my posts on friendship, you may have found some pleasant new friends and have started getting to know them and spending time with them. If you’re looking for advice on how to hold onto these relationships and be a great friend, you’ve come to a pretty good place, I think. Today I want to share with you some ways I try to be a good friend -although I am certainly not a perfect friend- so you might be able to maintain a solid relationship with friends old and new!

Communication Communication is very, very important in any relationship. If you don’t talk to your friends, your friendship with them probably won’t last very long. If you stay in touch with them, whether by texting every week or visiting their home or going out to eat every so often, your friendship will probably grow. Communication doesn’t just involve chatting about life, though. It also includes sharing your feelings and talking through problems together. Maybe you had a disagreement with a friend. If you don’t address it, it may cause a rift between you two and you will grow apart. If you do address it, though, and both talk through your feelings, you may become even closer than you were before, with a better understanding of one another!

Lending a Hand The kinder you are, the more likable you are. When you offer to help your friends, it shows them you care. Maybe they need help with homework or chores, or are in need of cheap childcare or someplace to stay while looking for a new home. You’ll probably not be able to meet all their needs, but do what you can for them, showing that you are a true friend.

A Listening Ear One of the best ways to be a good friend is to be a good listener. Stay quiet when they’re venting, and don’t butt in and try to tell them how they’re living their life wrong and what they should do instead. They probably already get plenty of that from everyone else. As a friend, you should want what’s best for them, of course, but you should also care about their feelings and cry with them and laugh with them. And don’t share what they’re telling you with others, even if they don’t specifically ask you to keep it confidential. They should be able to trust you to keep their secrets and not embarrass them. I know you may have other people in your life you talk about everything with, but your hurting friend or that friend with a girly secret may not expect your family or other friends to know all about it. Use discernment! Some things are important to seek help with, but some are better left unsaid.

Effort/Initiation As a friend, I think it’s important to take initiative to invite your friends to do things with you and hang out with them. If you never try to hang out, your friend might think you’ve lost interest in the them and don’t want to be friends anymore. It can be harder for some people to put in the effort to get out and plan things with friends, especially due to mental health problems, so try to send a text asking if they want to hang out, spend some money every now and then to go to a concert or on a little trip, have your friends over for dinner, etc.

Being There for Them I think a lot of people toss the phrase “I’m here for you” around, but do they actually mean it? Being there for someone means that you’re (typically) not too busy for them, whether it’s just for a phone call or a visit to their house. You can’t be at your friend’s beck and call, of course -they don’t own you or control your life- but I think it’s so important to show up for your friends when they need someone. Go to their recitals and shows and games and parties when you can, and send them messages and cards and such when occasions call for them. (I have a post all about showing up for your loved ones here!)

Support and Encouragement Being a good friend definitely includes cheering on your friends in life! Be positive and lift your friends up! Don’t tear them down, make fun of them, be a negative voice in their life… You may not always agree with your friends, and that’s ok, but don’t be their parent! Encourage them to do what’s right and don’t let them do stupid things as much as you can, but do so gently and with understanding.

Include Them Nobody likes to be left out of things. Some things aren’t your friends’ business, depending on how close you are with them, but when you fail to mention something exciting that recently happened to you and they hear about it from someone else, or two of your friends are having a private conversation but you’re around to know about it, for example, those types of things can hurt. Don’t feel like you need to share everything with everyone, but when you’re close to someone and say you trust them, show that you mean it!

Don’t Take Them for Granted It can be hurtful when people take you for granted, but even more so when it’s your supposed friend. It can be easy to do, though. Maybe you’ve been friends for a long time with someone and think you’ll always be friends no matter what, so you don’t put in the effort to show your appreciation for them. There’s a chance you will then drift apart and end up not friends anymore. Make sure your friend feels cared for by you and as if you truly want them in your life!

Don’t Give Up on Them Your friends will go through hard times. They might be annoying at times. They might push you away or isolate themselves. They might even appear mean to you on occasion. When you’re a true friend, though, you check on them, and try to help them in whatever way you can, and love them. Don’t walk away when things get hard. Hold their hand and let them know you’re there. Give them space when they need it, but don’t abandon them. They might need you more than you know. More than they know. Keep inviting them to hang out, keep communicating with them, keep praying for them.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

These are just a few ways to be the best friend you can be to the special people you’ve been blessed with, so don’t take this as a complete guide! Keep learning and doing your best. And feel free to share this with a friend if you feel so inclined! <3 Thanks for stopping by!