When Summer Feels Lonely

I don’t know about you, but I think summer can bring out a sense of loneliness the rest of the months of the year don’t. School and extracurricular activities take a break, friends are off taking trips, maybe you or your friends are too busy with your jobs to get together, or your friend group is minimal and you realize how few people you actually have to reach out to to get together. I know this sounds kind of depressing, but for some the struggle is real. Even those who don’t struggle with loneliness on a regular basis or haven’t experienced something as devastating as the loss of a loved one can still feel alone from time to time, and I believe that’s normal- even for those who are surrounded by people in their life. Whether it was just for a weekend when all your friends were unavailable to hang out, or you’ve gone through a whole season of life where you just feel alone in this world, you’ve felt that ache in one way or another. Maybe you’re surrounded by people and have all kinds of plans for the summer, but you still feel alone… Maybe you don’t have a BFF or a special someone whom you can share everything with, and you long for one or the other, or both… You might have a big, loving family but you don’t have many friends outside the family… There are so many scenarios I could give as examples, but there’s one single struggle that can come with them all: loneliness.

I may not have all the answers you’re looking for. I still have my moments even though I have great friends and family, and I’m still building relationships and getting better at taking initiative to get together with my friends, but I do want to share some encouragement with you if you can relate to what I’m talking about and let you know what has helped me.

When I feel lonely, I remind myself of the people in my life who love me. I know they’re there for me and I can talk to them. I’m thankful for them and that they’re in my life. I also pray, knowing God hears me and cares for me -even more than the sparrows. It’s a comfort to me that He’s always with me and is my truest Friend. I also might journal about my feelings, helping to get my thoughts out. Lastly, I try to keep in mind that these feelings will pass. Time will continue to move on and there are still things to look forward to.

Instead of sitting around at home all the time when you’re in a state of feeling lonely, I would encourage you to ask a friend to hang out or go visit a loved one, accept invitations to do things when you have any, or go out on your own even if it’s just to do errands. I like driving around by myself, singing along to my music in private and just doing my own thing. Sitting at home on your social media or watching a Hallmark movie probably won’t do you much good to help you feel better. It likely will just make you feel worse. I know it can be unmotivating to get all around and get out of the house, but usually it ends up being fun and something you won’t regret.

I’ve always had a tendency to assume others already have their established friends and aren’t looking for more and wouldn’t want to include me in their circle, but I’ve realized that a lot of people are like me and are open to new friendships, and are probably lonely- even more than I’ve been at times. I also realize I haven’t always given the impression I’m open to new relationships, so I’ve tried to work on appearing more open to new friends, even though I can be a bit timid at times. I think a few simple yet good ways to do that is to (1), smile and appear friendly, (2), talk to people and be interested in others’ lives, and (3), help others and show kindness. Some of these things come naturally to some people, and some of these things can be a real struggle for others. I think these are good things to practice regardless, and the more you do them the more comfortable you’ll be with them.

Of course, summer isn’t the only time we get lonely. I know winter can be hard too, and really, any time of year. Self-pity can be a hard thing to resist, but I encourage you today to pray, make an effort to keep up good spirits, be open to new friendships, be a good friend to the ones you do have, and enjoy time alone. And most importantly, remember that only God can fill any voids in your life you may be feeling.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”

Luke 12:6-7