The Past is in the Past

The past is in the past. This is a phrase I remind myself of often. It has helped me when I’m feeling ashamed of something I’ve done, when I begin thinking about something someone else has done that hurt me or someone I love, and other similar situations. When I hear or tell myself this phrase, I always think of that line in “Let it Go” from Frozen, when Elsa whips off her crown and looks at it one last time, and then throws it away from her as she sings, “the past is in the past!” While I’m not really a fan of that movie anymore, sometimes I still like to reenact that part with an imaginary tiara when I’m reminding myself that the past is in the past. (-;

When thoughts start creeping into my mind such as something embarrassing I once did or something someone else has done that I was disappointed in them about, it bothers me. Those kinds of memories bring on feelings of shame, anxiety, aggravation, and more, which aren’t nice feelings to feel and can lead to sin, like unforgiveness. I try to stop those thoughts early on when they pop into my mind; I don’t want to dwell on them and I know they aren’t good for me.

Something I’ve had to work on in recent years is to stop making excuses for others’ behavior when trying to forgive them. There would be times where if someone wronged me, even if it wasn’t something done intentionally to harm me but it still irritated me, I would come up with reasons why maybe it was somewhat ok for them to have done whatever they did, like “maybe they didn’t know any better” or “they’re probably not having a very good day.” But something I believe now is that I don’t need to make excuses for the wrongdoers. What they did was wrong, no matter their intention; I just need to forgive them. Forgiving them doesn’t involve creating excuses for why they did the wrong thing. Of course it’s good to keep in mind things such as “maybe they were never taught” or “maybe they’re having a rough day,” but those don’t excuse their sin, because sin is sin no matter what. So it’s ok to accept that what someone did was wrong and it hurt, and then extend grace. Sometimes, however, their wrongdoing may come back into your mind later, not necessarily for any specific reason, and you need to remember that you already forgave them. This is one of those times I have to remind myself that the past is in the past. No one is perfect except God, and there have been plenty of times that I have wronged others- probably more than I even realize.

Every day is a new, fresh start. Maybe you really messed up yesterday. But you know what? That was yesterday. You’re still learning and growing. Today is up to you. Maybe you’ll mess up again today, but you don’t know that you will for sure until you do. So do your best today, and remember that yesterday’s mistakes don’t have to define you. Maybe you’re thinking about how much you whined and complained yesterday and you’re feeling ashamed about it, but you know you’ll probably go and do it again later because it’s a habit and you don’t think you have enough will to break it. And that may lead you to more shame and discouragement. You don’t want to continue in that pattern, but it’s a struggle. Well, here’s where my little phrase comes in again. The past is in the past. You messed up yesterday, but you don’t have to whine and complain today. You’re in control of yourself. “Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet,” as L.M. Montgomery wrote in the first Anne of Green Gables novel (one of my very favorite books, I might add!)

Of course, I don’t want this phrase to be used as an excuse for poor behavior. Even though I remind myself that the past is over and done, doesn’t mean I profess that the past doesn’t matter or count for anything. I acknowledge I’ve messed up in the past, and I am still sorry that I did, but I’ve already asked forgiveness and been forgiven by God, so I don’t need to dwell on it. I believe we need to learn from our mistakes. If we completely disregard our mistakes and forget they even happened, chances are we’ll continue making those same mistakes and we won’t get much of anywhere or see growth in ourselves.

Next time you start thinking about the past and those thoughts start bringing you down, remember that you can’t change the past, but you can start now and try to do better today. Even if you messed up this morning, you don’t have to continue in your mistakes tonight. You don’t have to let something that happened five hours ago affect the outcome of the next five hours of your life. You will never be able to go back in time, no matter how much you wish you could, but you can make better choices in the future, starting now.