Making Friends

Welcome back to another post on friendships! I’ve really been enjoying digging into this topic! I think we all need friends, but it’s ok if you don’t have many. The important thing is having good friends in your life! We’ll get into how to be a good friend next week! Today, let’s take a look at some ways on how to actually make friends. We’ve gone over how to find people to be friends with, and how to choose friends, but you still might be wondering exactly how to become friends with these people and deepen the relationship.

So, you’ve started a new class or have started volunteering in you community, and you’ve met some interesting people by now, right? You might consider them your friend since you chat while you’re together, but you may not have actually ever hung out outside of that class or program before. Well, get ready, because this week may just be the week you’re going to get to know them a little bit better, one-on-one!

A good first step is to get you new friend’s phone number (if you don’t already have it) so you can make plans with them and communicate when needed, and to keep in touch! I like to send “thinking of you” texts to my friends sometimes, and text with friends about our weeks and what we’ve been up to if I haven’t seen them much recently.

Whether or not you have your friend’s number yet, one of the first ways to get to know your friend better is to invite him or her out for coffee or ice cream, or even lunch! Or perhaps you’ve already found that you have a mutual interest in something like roller coasters or history museums, so you already have somewhere you know you can go together that you both would enjoy! I know for some, it may be intimidating to ask someone to go someplace with you, because what will they think and how will they react, and what if they don’t want to hang out with you? But you won’t know if you don’t ask, so go ahead and take that first step and invite them! You may just have a really fun day in your near future waiting to happen! Ask them what dates might work for them, or if it’s a specific event you’re trying to go to and they’re busy that day, you can let them know you’d like to get together another time soon and see what they say!

Something else you can start doing if you haven’t is have friends over at your house for movies and bonfires and things like that! If you don’t have the space to have many friends over, that’s ok, but if you do, I think it’s a great use of your home to host! In case you missed it, here is a guide on how to host a game night! Not everyone likes games, and I’m typically one of those people who don’t, but when you’re the host, you get to pick what you do, so you can pick your favorite games! (-; I think hosting is fun and I’d like to do it more often myself.

When you have a plan to hang out with someone newer, you might be afraid you won’t know what to talk about or that there will be awkward silences. If you’re like me, your mind may sometimes go blank during lulls in conversations, even though there are so many things you could talk about! Some interesting topics you can bring up in these instances are where you and your friend have traveled to, where you want to travel, where you have lived or grew up, what movies, books and music you like, where you like to eat and go shopping, and what sports or instruments you play or have tried. There may be times with silence, but that’s ok; you don’t have to constantly be chatting away! You can even just start talking about what comes to your mind, as long as it’s appropriate to talk about with your friend, of course. Maybe it’s a childhood memory or a thought of a restaurant you’ve been meaning to try. I think just about anything you come up with to talk about could lead to conversation.

After your initial hangout, if you want to keep hanging out in the future, keep in touch! Don’t be afraid to reach out to them again, unless you have a valid reason for not reaching out to them again. You don’t have to wait until they invite you to something, because that might be a while, or never. Relationships take work and communication on both ends. If you’re always the one to initiate get-togethers or seem to be the only one interested in the friendship, maybe it is time to leave them be, but I think typically it’s not that you’ve done something wrong. I mean, how many people don’t want friends? I think a lot of people want more friends, they just don’t put in as much effort as others to make ones. It can be hard to do! Just don’t give up on someone because they didn’t reply to one text or couldn’t make it to your party.

Getting out there and making friends can be intimidating and sometimes discouraging, and it can take time. Making friends comes naturally and is easy for some, but for others it can take a lot to make it happen, even though they’re just as wonderful of people as the extroverted, popular people who seem to naturally attract friends. I hope that you were able to pull some ideas from this post and can apply them to your own life! Remember that the more you do something, like reaching out to others and building friendships, the easier it will become. Be sure to be on the lookout for a new post on how to deepen and maintain these new friendships next week! Thanks for stopping by!