Finding Friends

So… I’ve talked about loneliness on my blog before, and even how to meet people in the summer, but I don’t think I really dove into how to find friends in those posts. I think everyone has their own unique touch when finding and making friends, and I wouldn’t say I’m naturally gifted at making friends myself, but I do have some tidbits of advice for you from my own experiences in finding and making friends that I’d like to talk about today!

My first thought is this: It will take initiative on your part to reach out to find new friends. If you wait for other people to come up and start talking to you, you might be waiting a while, maybe even to the point of never talking to them. However, if someone does happen to approach you, take advantage of it, even if you weren’t necessarily interested in them at first. Engage in conversation and be friendly!

Now, maybe you’re thinking, “I would talk to people if there were people around to talk to!” And this is my main point today: Finding friends. It may take more effort to get out and be social than it did in the days before cell phones and the internet, but there are still plenty of ways to get out and meet people! You can meet people anywhere you go, really. The hard part is finding like-minded friends who are in the same age range as you. You could even be surrounded by people your age, but maybe none of them share your interests or values or, put frankly, you simply don’t like them. Here’s where the internet can come in handy! Think about what your interests and hobbies are, and then search for groups related to those topics in your area. If you played baseball or softball in school but have since graduated and want to get back into it, you might find a rec league in your city or a city nearby. If you like books and talking about books, maybe be on the lookout for a book club at your local library! As a teenager, I was interested in getting back into dance, but never had a good opportunity to do so, but after a move to another town and graduating high school, I did a search for dance studios in my area and found one very nearby that offered adult classes, so I started pretty much right away! This is an example of taking initiative of finding potential friends while doing what you love!

I know I’ve talked about this before, but I’ll remind you: Accept invitations! Opportunities may present themselves, but it’s up to you whether or not to go through with them. I know you might be shy, but you might not get the particular chance you’ve been presented with again. I’ve been invited to different Bible studies in the past and decided to attend, and have since made some lovely friends and have continued to meet new people at them! I won’t say I’ve attended every outing I’ve ever been invited to, but I’ve gone out with friends who have brought other friends, which would’ve been a missed opportunity for me to meet people if I’d have declined. Now, don’t go someplace you actually would be uncomfortable with, as in if someone invited you do go do something dumb or dangerous with them, but try not to miss opportunities because of fear or laziness!

You might have to go places on your own to find potential friends. I know going out alone might not always sound appealing, but if you’re with friends you’ll be distracted with them and appear less approachable. Maybe you’re looking for a new church and want someone to go with you, or want to take a class but don’t want to not know anyone there, which is fine and completely understandable, but if you always take other people with you everywhere, the less chance there is of being approached. Plus doing things by yourself helps build confidence and independence!

I know it can be hard to get up the courage or motivation to invite others to do things with you. I know what it’s like to be timid and afraid of what someone might think of you, but sitting around at home not reaching out to people and making connections won’t get you friends. There’s a good chance that person you’ve been wanting to talk to and get to know is shy or hesitant too.

I also know it can be discouraging when you try to reach out, to be a friend, to start conversations, and the other person isn’t reciprocating interest. Don’t worry too much, though. There are more options out there. Maybe that person you wanted to get to know but doesn’t act interested is going through a tough time, or is in a very busy season of life, or is trying to stay off their phone, or maybe they don’t want to be friends. But that’s ok. Maybe you two weren’t meant to be friends. Don’t give up looking- or at least keeping your eye out and mind open. The world is full of people- interesting, fun, beautiful people that would make excellent friends. But you likely won’t find them in your living room on a random Wednesday afternoon. Maybe go take a walk instead of watching a show in the middle of the day. Who knows? Maybe another nice person is out on a walk in your neighborhood looking for a new friend too!

I can’t end this without telling you one more thing I’ve done to help with making friends and navigating friendships: Praying! I know that God cares about me, and that I can tell Him anything that’s on my heart. I ask for His help in being content, and ask for His guidance. If anyone can give me companions to live this life with, it’s Him! Nothing is too big or small to bring to Him. And remember that Jesus can be your Friend and is always with you if you follow Him!

That’s all I have for you today. Thanks so much for reading! I hope you can pull something helpful out of this and use it this week! As always, feel free to let me know what you think by leaving a comment. I love hearing from my readers. I hope you have a blessed day!