Why Won’t They Text Back?!

Welcome back, everyone! Hope this post finds you well. To start off with, I have a random question that is irrelevant to the rest of this post (lol): What book are you currently reading?? I asked on an Instagram story this past weekend, and I thought it would also be fun to ask here! (If you want to check out my Instagram page, you can find the icon on the homepage of this blog!) I’m currently reading Elsie’s Children, book 6 of the Elsie Dinsmore series, which I’m loving! Anyway, let’s get into what I really wanted to talk about today.

So my friend and I were recently talking, and we found that we’ve both had “friends” or people who don’t always text back when we text them. And we don’t understand why this happens so often. Maybe it’s our personalities or good communication skills, but we both answer our contacts within a decent range of time. And I don’t mean these other people don’t answer until the next day; I mean, they never respond at all, even if we ask a question along the lines of, “do you want to hang out?”

I think when it comes to texting a friend to try to get to know them or invite them out somewhere and they don’t reply, especially if it happens on multiple occasions, it can be discouraging when you’re trying to be a good friend to them, or build new friendships, and they appear to be ignoring you. It sends the message that the other person isn’t interested in hanging out and being your friend and you’re not a priority to them. Some people are more understanding than others, so some (like me) know the other person could just be busy and forgot to reply, but when it’s more than a one-time thing, it can be disappointing. Because it tends to happen not just to me, and on multiple occasions, I’m wondering why this seems to be such a common thing.

I know texting is a lot different than talking on the phone or in person, but there are similarities and I think that not answering a question or responding to an idea or reacting to something cool a friend tells you is (typically) rather rude like it would be in person. (Now I will say, there are situations where you shouldn’t engage in conversation with certain people, like if they’re bothering you and you’ve made it clear to them in the past that you’re not interested in them or something like that. You don’t have to always be at others’ beck and call. But that’s besides my point today.) And if you have a reason for not responding to a certain person, like if someone of the opposite gender is trying to text you and you’re not interested in them, you need to communicate and politely let them know the truth. Don’t just constantly tell them you’re busy; tell them you appreciate their interest, but the interest isn’t mutual (in your own kind words, of course). Sometimes we can’t tell others what’s going on in our lives or heads or hearts, and we don’t always owe an explanation, but it is typically courteous to be honest and give a decent, honest reason for our lack of interest and whatever the case may be.

I also want to add that a written message back is more meaningful than “liking” or “loving” a message. Just like it can be disappointing to be completely ignored, it can also be disappointing to write out a nice or detailed message and all you get in response is a “like” or “heart.” It doesn’t take long to say something like, “That sounds great!” or “I love it!” And while I don’t think it’s always a bad thing to simply “like” a message (I do it too!), I think it can be a kind of lazy habit to get into. And maybe the whole “love language” thing plays a part in all this; maybe people whose love language is “gifts” won’t think much of looking at a text and hitting the heart or totally ignoring it. Maybe feeling ignored when someone doesn’t write back mainly pertains to those whose love language is “words of affirmation.” I don’t know; it’s just a thought.

I know we all can’t always respond to a message right away, and might forget to later, but when you completely forget about writing someone back specifically when it’s an invitation, it’s basically forgetting about that person, or at least some people might take it that way when you don’t respond, even if you didn’t really forget about them. Besides forgetfulness, though, I’m curious to know what other reasons there might be for not responding to messages that there really should be a response to. Procrastination? Disinterest? Anxiety? I genuinely want to hear your thoughts! Are you one to respond to a text right away, later in the day, the next day, later in the week, or not at all? Remember that what you do -or don’t do- affects others, and actions speak louder than words! <3

Don’t forget to let me know what book you’re reading!! (-;